Stoicism for a Better Life – Weekly exercise (February 20, 2019)

Hello all,

As a practitioner of Stoicism, I’m surprised at how focused our practice becomes, and how easily we forget to use virtue in other more mundane applications of our lives that we simply overlook. The past few weeks, we’ve focused on these (no cell phone while eating, eating locally and with few ingredients and choosing our entertainment more wisely). I was very surprised to see how ignoble I was in many ways, and I assume many of you had a similar type of awakening.

Personally, this time of year is very stressful (year-end for a public company) and I bear most of what happens in a day. Yet I find myself slipping on some occasions here and there. There is no outwardly ignoble behaviour, but I do feel unnecessary frustration internally. Sometimes with ad-hominem attacks, or sometimes for the most mundane things, like getting frustrating to the point of letting out an audible sigh because I can’t pull two pieces of napkins apart that are statically stuck together with one hand no matter how much I shake, so now I have to put my plate down and use both hands and pick my plate up again. I’m sure you can relate to this type if a silly situation that got under your skin.

So this week I thought it would be fun to go back to the basics and draw some inspiration from a Stoic forefather, Hierocles (On wedlock – pg 102):

“It is proper, however, as it is said, neither to blame things which are innoxious, nor to make our imbecility in the use of things the cause of complaint against them.”

Complaining about something (external no less) that “hurts us” is ignoring, as Hieroclese points out, our own imbecility. We are far too quick to lay blame elsewhere and forget that this even that is “bad” is an internal projection. Therefore we should focus more internally. It is not the event that upsets us, but our own internal projection of it. Furthermore, if we project it as being “bad” that means we are comparing it to an alternative scenario where this event occurred differently that was more favourable to us.

So this week when you feel annoyed at something, ask yourself what it is that you desire or seek. Then remind yourself that what you wish for is what is causing your affliction, not the event itself. Have fun and I’d love to hear some real-life situations where you apply this and resume a tranquil demeanour in equanimity, instead of continuing to be upset.

Anderson Silver

(Author of “Your User’s Manual” and “Vol 2: Your Duality Within”)