Stoicism for a Better Life – Weekly exercise (November 29, 2020)

Hello there, 

For this week’s exercise, let look to Marcus Aurelius’ wise words from his Meditations IV 7:

“Efface the opinion, I am harmed, and at once the feeling of being harmed disappears; efface the feeling, and the harm disappears at once.”

An oldie but a goodie. We’re going right back into the core of Stoicism with this one: All is opinion. There is no “good” or “bad” as far as externals are concerned, but thinking it makes it so. No one, no event…nothing can go inside your squishy bits you call your brain and make you think something is “good” or “bad”. The decision and final judgment is ultimately up to you. It always has been and always will be.

This is how two different people from different walks of life can look at the same thing (say a 2008 Toyota Corolla) and think two different things:

“What apiece of junk. I mean it works, but all my friends are driving shiny new cars. This is something a grandmother would drive. I hate it!”

“Sweet I have a car! It works perfectly and I have heat in the winter, airconditioning in the summer and I can leave at my own schedule without waiting for the bus. I love it!”

It’s all a matter of perspective and you have a choice over that perspective. So as a practical exercise this week, when you feel harmed or are upset, identify the opinion…then remove it. It really is that simple. Nothing in the universe is telling you to feel upset over the issue, and there are most certainly positives in it as well; you’re just not looking for them. We tend to focus only on the negatives and compare our reality to a better and non-existent one. So when you are upset, just take a step back and remind yourself, you are the one making yourself upset…not the thing. And if you want freedom from this opinion, it is entirely in your power to do so.

Share your stories with me, I always love hearing about them and they help inspire others. Go on over to the “Let’s Talk” page to see the multiple ways in which you can interact with me.

Anderson Silver

(Author of “Your User’s Manual”, “Vol 2: Your Duality Within”, and Vol 3: Your Dichotomy of Control)