Stoicism for a Better Life – Weekly exercise (December, 1 2019)

Hello there,

This week on Stoicism for a Better Life, let us gain some perspective as we enter the season for holiday parties and gathering, from Epictetus’ Discourses IV 4 27-28:

  

“What could better please a person who loves his fellow man than the sight of them in numbers? “But they deafen me with their shouting.’ So your hearing is offended; what does it have to do with you? Your power of using impressions isn’t diminished, is it? Who can keep you from using desire and aversion, or choice and refusal, in conformity with nature? No mob is big enough for that,”

The holidays are a great time to spend time with family, friends and colleagues to unwind and enjoy some food, drink and each others’ company. With the series of events we get invited to, however, some difficulty is almost always inherently present. Whether we are forced to attend venues out of sheer duty or have to put up with “that person” who we would never spend time with otherwise, or whether we get dragged into events or conversations we really do not want to be part of, we all face some sort of difficulty that comes with the deluge of holiday gatherings this time of year.

But, as Epictetus reminds us, all difficulties that come with a crowd and gatherings are merely external factors (that is external to, and therefore independent from, our faculty of reason). That loud obnoxious co-worker is not actually bad, they just have a unique personality that is energetic and vibrant than what we are used to. That one family member that has cringe-worthy political views who likes to say the most controversial things that may trigger you, does not actually enter into your faculty of reason and make you feel a certain way. The fact that you get dragged to that party you really don’t want to go to is not a bad or unfair thing. How nice it is to be wanted, while we are still alive today and physically able to spend time with one another.

The point is, whatever “negative” feelings you may have about a particular gathering or person at a party, remind yourself that it is not actually bad. It is your judgment about it that makes it bad. So, this week (and for the next few weeks as you attend holiday events), use your faculty of judgment, which is untouched by these external factors, to try and see it from a different perspective. There is good to be found in everything. You just have to look for it.

As always, I wish you a wise, tranquil and productive week. If you can, share how you are progressing with your exercise. Your journey may very well inspire others. 

Anderson Silver

(Author of “Your User’s Manual” and “Vol 2: Your Duality Within”)