Stoicism for a Better Life – Weekly exercise (December 13, 2020)

With the holiday seasons around the corner, I will keep the topic pertinent to the season. And since I recently re-read some of Seneca’s work as a refresher and reminder, I’ll stick with his words of wisdom to inspire us this week. Here’s a gem from his letters to Lucilius, XVIII:

“…a man gives himself the surest proof of his steadfastness if he neither goes nor allows himself to be led to the agreeable pastimes which involve self-indulgence. It shows more austerity to stay dry and sober when the crowd is puking drunk, but more control not to make oneself an exception, not to be markedly different nor yet one of the crowd, but to do as others do, only not in the same way. It is possible to observe a holiday without self-indulgence.”

Half of this quote is something I often speak up against, which is the false claim that Stoicism is about austerity. Self-deprivation in and of itself is not virtuous. Of all the ancient Stoic teachers, Seneca is the most vocal on this topic as well. He is the one that reminds us it is okay to be entertained. It is okay to have some wine. It is okay to indulge in the little things that help us unwind, rest and relax, for our minds and bodies are tools and just like any tool, overuse and discipline can harm it, damage it and be counterproductive.

But it is the other half of this quote that is interesting. He is reminding us that unlike our Cynic older cousins, as Stoics we do not remove ourselves from custom. We recognize the fictitious nature of this society we live in, however, we chose to participate in this fake construct so as to be able to help our fellow cosmopolitans. We cannot be on the outside looking in and try and influence people. We must be part of society to be able to have the greatest impact towards the betterment of humanity (the human community). We’re agents working from the inside trying to be agents for positive change as it were.

And this is what Seneca is reminding us as it pertains to holiday gatherings. Okay, so this won’t be pertinent for most of us as we are on varying degrees of lockdown. Personally, in Montreal, we are on full lockdown so we can’t be with anyone. However, the lesson is still sound and something we can all reflect on even in isolation. Don’t try and be too austere. Don’t overindulge. Don’t unduly deprive yourself. Don’t be reliant on externals. The name of the game is equanimity…balance…focusing on the only things that matters: Our judgments and intentions.

So as an exercise this week, reflect on your plans for the holidays, no matter what they may be. Are planning too much on Netflix? Drinks? Shopping? Social media? Self-pity in self-isolation? Are you planning on ignoring the holidays altogether? Consider what it is you plan on and ask yourself: What value is this going to bring to me or humanity? Never forget that the starting point is ALWAYS will this help me work towards the betterment of humanity? Will this help make the world a better place. This is the starting point, even for the holidays.

I Ho Ho Hope you have a great week (yup…I’m sorry for that…I am a dad and cannot pass up a good opportunity for a dad joke). We can all take the opportunity this holiday season to become a little bit more virtuous, without ignoring the customs of our society.

Your friends

Anderson

(Author of “Your User’s Manual”, “Vol 2: Your Duality Within”, and Vol 3: Your Dichotomy of Control)