Stoicism for a Better Life – Weekly exercise (June 7, 2020)

Hello there, 

For this week’s exercise, I will once again look outside our Stoic guides and teachers, as we do from time to time. This is from an old classic that some of you may have read called To Kill a Mockingbird written by Harper Lee in 1960. I reread this old classic last week, given the current state of affairs and racial injustice we are seeing in the US (south of the border from me). If you haven’t read the book, I would recommend it as it is a powerful little american classic, and it offers a sobering reminder that many systemic and institutional racial injustices remain exactly the same over the past century. Here are some words from a character names Atticus:

“It’s never an insult to be called what somebody thinks is a bad name. It just shows you how poor that person is, it doesn’t hurt you.”  

Without giving any spoilers on the story, I will leave it by saying that it is an empowering book which reminds the reader that the capacity for change exists within us all. Change can come from small efforts done by individuals consistently over a long period of time. In trying to inspire change, one will sometimes run into conflicts with people who will hurl insults at them or say mean things about them. Then again, this happens even on a normal day.  

An eye for an eye will make the world go blind. So responding to hate with hate will never solve anything. When faced with hate or an insult, we must try and climb into another’s skin to try and understand them and why they behave the way they do and say the things they say. No matter how different their view point, they are a human being, just like you, and they just want to live a good life without pain, just like you. So we must be able to at least understand each other’s viewpoints and the logic it is built on at a minimum. This is how we can begin to bridge the gap between differing views…by at least respecting and recognizing each other as human beings with thougths and feelings that drive our actions, no matter how “good” or “bad”. And for this bridging of differing views, we must be able to forgive others, hate speech, at least enough to try and respond rationally and in a constructive manner.

So this week, as a practical exercise, make yourself an aid to remember this simple truth when you are faced with an insult: Someone who hurls insults at you are poorer than you because they have a sadness inside them and can’t find happiness around them. Therefore, these people are experiencing much more suffering themselves then they might cause with their insults. So forgive them first, and respond with kindness and reason regardless of what they are saying or doing. This is the only way to actually instil lasting change.

I wish you all a safe week. If you are protesting, power to you and I support you and your cause. Just remember thought there is a difference between protesting and rioting. One of them can lead to lasting change. The other just inflicts more hate into the world.

Anderson Silver

(Author of “Your User’s Manual” and “Vol 2: Your Duality Within”)