Stoicism for a Better Life – Weekly exercise (November 28, 2021)
Hello there,
This week on Stoicism for a Better Life, I will seek inspiration from the emperor philosopher himself from his Meditations IV 23:
“Everything harmonizes with me, which is harmonious to you, O Universe. For me nothing is too early or too late if it is in due time for you. Everything is fruit to me that your season brings, O Nature: from you are all things, in you are all things, to you all things return.”
This is one of my favourite Marcus Aurelius quotes and it holds significance as it touches upon an important point that has been difficult for me: Letting go of what happens and accepting what is.
The hardest part of my own journey of personal growth has been letting go of trying to control everything around me. I found this difficult as I am a product of a society with mottoes like “Grab the bull by the horns!”. Life was about working as many hours as it takes to get the desired goal that would advance my career. My primary life objective was clearly wrong, but changing objectives was the easy part. The problem was that I still wanted to accomplish and achieve all my new goals (for a tranquil and meaningful life) right away. It was difficult for me to accept I can only control so much, no matter how hard I worked or how much I wanted a particular result.
Enter the dichotomy of control (incidentally the name of Vol 3. of my book series). My biggest challenge to this day is to fully accept and truly embrace that so much of what happens in my life is up to the universe. Whether you are a believer in determinism or free will or (like the Stoics) in compatibilism, we can all agree that beyond our initial decision for action things begin to fall outside of our domain of influence. The further they progress along the axis of time, the further they converge from our direct influence. It is important to have goals (large or small, daily or annually) but it is imperative that we always remember (for our own peace of mind) that the results we seek are only slightly influenced by our efforts. Beyond our own initial intentions, the universe always has and controls more variables than our own feeble attempts. So, this week, when you find yourself getting frustrated over results that diverge from what you set out to do, take a deep breath, continue doing your best, and just go the way things are. You can’t change what happened but can only continue to work to influence the next events as best as you can.
As always, much love to you all and I wish you a wise, tranquil and productive week.
Anderson Silver, Stoicism for a Better Life
(Author of “Your User’s Manual”, “Vol 2: Your Duality Within” & “Vol 3: Your Dichotomy of Control”)