Stoicism for a Better Life – Weekly exercise (September 18, 2019)

Hello there,

For this week’s exercise let us draw inspiration from Epictetus’ Discourses III 16- 1-3:

“It is inevitable if you enter into relations with people on a regular basis, either for conversation, dining or simple friendship, that you will grow to be like them, unless you can get them to emulate you. Place an extinguished piece of coal next to a live one, and either it will cause the other one to die out, or the live one will make the other reignite. Since a lot is at stake, you should be careful about fraternizing with non-philosophers in these contexts; remember that if you consort with someone covered in dirt you can hardly avoid getting a little grimy yourself.”

There’s a lot we can take away from this quote, but in the interest of having attainable goals, let us focus on one part: Be mindful of who you surround yourself with. Our animal minds have a sort of “hive mentality” to “fit in” with the crowd, as part of our primordial needs for social integration and belonging. It may be more prevalent for some people, or more likely to be triggered in some certain situations, but one thing is for sure: We will inevitably be influenced by people around us to varying degrees, either consciously or subconsciously.

We cannot control what the animal body does instinctively, but what we can control is the judgments we make. So let us use that judgment and make a conscious effort to surround ourselves with people that are good for us or be conscious of the fact of people we do not want to emulate. This becomes very broad so each will have his/her own journey with this, but this week take inventory of the people that surround you to choose a better entourage, or to be conscious of an entourage you do not want imprinting habits on you.

As always, much love to you all and I wish you a wise, tranquil and productive week.

Anderson Silver

(Author of “Your User’s Manual” and “Vol 2: Your Duality Within”)